My parents, Jimmy and Becky Miller celebrate their 43rd wedding anniversary today. I asked my them 3 questions that I thought might encourage us other married folk who are doing our best to build a healthy marriage.
If you could offer one piece of advice to a young married couple, to help them stay married, what would you say?
Dad - “Don’t give up."
Mom - Talk to each other! Don’t try to read their mind…doesn’t work. Talk to God also!
How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - Jenn and I outlawed the word divorce. It’s not allowed in our home. We never threaten each other with statements of separation. We also established a rule that no one gets to leave during a fight. No slammed doors. No going for a walk/drive. Never-ever will the other be left alone in a time of conflict.
When it come to conflict, how do you not stay mad? How do you not walk out and leave?
Dad - “Say what’s on your mind and get over it."
Mom - “Let it go and don’t hold a grudge.
How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - It’s not about not getting mad. I get mad. The point is not staying mad. Not staying mad is a choice. We talk. We disagree. And, we choose what hills we are willing to die on. Not every argument matters.
If you could go back and do it again, how might you love your spouse better?
Dad - “I would not work so much and spend more time with her."
Mom - “Lean more on God instead of self.”
How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - I love these types of questions. It is my hope that Jenn and I do our best everyday to love each other on purpose. The last thing I hope is to one day look back and say, “I wish…” May we learn from those who lived longer. May we not repeat what they wish they could change.
Have a blessed day,