Trusting God With Your Children
By Marilyn Jennings, Social Media Strategist
I'm not the first mother and probably won't be the last to say that surrendering my trust to God regarding my children is challenging. Between the planning, scheduling, coaching, talks, prayers, snuggles, kissing boo-boos, and all the fun-silly times, it's sobering to loosen my grip and remember my relationship with each of my children can only be measured as a brief reflection of God's intended plan for a whole relationship with each of them, and us.
I take heart and hope that with complete surrender and trust in Jesus comes freedom from striving for identity in performance, doing, and leading. Motherhood and parenting call us to surrender to the idea that anything I carry – brokenheartedness, dreams, and desires for my children in this life - also reflects the Father's heart. His dreams and desires for their life will always surpass my limited ability to imagine the possible. His brokenheartedness for any part of their lives is why Jesus embraced the cross. Oh, what a Father they have. But, how do we walk through the tension of trying to lead them through this world and reconcile it, through His wisdom, to trust Him with our children in faith?
Seek the Father's Heart
Trusting God through my parenting journey started with seeking the Father's heart in time with Him in the Word, prayer and worship. For some, a parent-relationship was deeply painful, and for others, you were parented in a way that inspired and formed "truths" or "rules" that inform how you seek to parent today. Through my abiding time, I have formed a relationship with a new Father, learned new ways, and humbly had to unlearn many of my own ways. The scriptures and truth of God say, "God is love" (1 John 4:8). Throughout the word, Jesus describes the Father and the foundation of their relationship as love. Jesus even says, "the father and I are one" (John 10:30). Something I find comforting in my parenting journey is knowing I can trust that I have a heavenly Father who loves my children perfectly outside of my ability, experience, and world-learned ways. In the heart and love of the Father, we can find shalom-shalom, or perfect peace, as we seek to trust His heart and perfect love for our children.
Rest in the Grace of Jesus
The reality of the cross that Jesus took demands that we acknowledge that while our children were still sinners, God loved them infinitely more than we ever could and paid the price to prove it (Romans 5:8-10). We have a promise that, "by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God..." (Ephesians 2:8). Through faith, we can trust in the grace of Jesus for ourselves, and by His power, we can extend grace to our children in imperfect imitation to reflect the heart of the Father and the grace of Jesus in their lives.
Romans 5:11 says, "So now, we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God." If we walk with Jesus as our friend through this topsy-turvy journey of raising our children, we have a promise that allows us to trustingly rely on Him to walk with us and guide us with perfect grace and truth.
Rely on the Help of the Spirit
Motherhood and parenting are a messy road that easily has us processing old wounds, habits, and hurts as we are confronted with our children's reactions to experiencing this world. I credit anything good in myself as a mother to the help of the Holy Spirit every day.
Galatians says our flesh and the Spirit conflict, and it's so easy to see this play out in our homes. Scripture says, "since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step by the Spirit." (Galatians 5:25) Specifically, the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23).
In John 15:26-27, Jesus says. "I am sending you the Helper... the Spirit of Truth who comes from the Father." Paul writes that we all have been given access to the Spirit as our helper for our "common good" and that the fruits and gifts are given to us who are in Jesus by the Spirit Himself. (1 Corinthians 12:7&11).
When we actively seek the help of the Spirit, the word witnesses that we can trust He will provide fruit to sustain our spiritual needs in this life. We don't lead anyone to Jesus; only God can harvest, but we can spiritually throw seeds from a place of overflow. Aligning ourselves with the Spirit and praying for its fruits to manifest in us as we parent, effectively prepares us to throw spiritual seeding, watering, and cultivation over the fields of our children's lives as the Spirit overflows from us.
Matthew records Jesus saying, "All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:27-30). Let us seek to turn over the things only the Father can do in our children’s lives. Rest in his grace, and trust in his gentle heart as we walk in faith. Then, we can trust the Father who sees us and our children, as we seek His heart, rest in His Son's grace, and rely on the Fruits of the Spirit to help us every day as mothers and fathers here on earth.