3 Questions to My Parents on their 43rd Wedding Anniversary

My parents, Jimmy and Becky Miller celebrate their 43rd wedding anniversary today.  I asked my them 3 questions that I thought might encourage us other married folk who are doing our best to build a healthy marriage.

Question 1:
If you could offer one piece of advice to a young married couple, to help them stay married, what would you say?

Dad - “Don’t give up."

Mom - Talk to each other!  Don’t try to read their mind…doesn’t work.  Talk to God also!

How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - Jenn and I outlawed the word divorce.  It’s not allowed in our home.  We never threaten each other with statements of separation.  We also established a rule that no one gets to leave during a fight.  No slammed doors.  No going for a walk/drive.  Never-ever will the other be left alone in a time of conflict.  

Question 2:
When it come to conflict, how do you not stay mad?  How do you not walk out and leave?

Dad - “Say what’s on your mind and get over it."

Mom - “Let it go and don’t hold a grudge.

How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - It’s not about not getting mad.  I get mad.  The point is not staying mad.  Not staying mad is a choice.  We talk.  We disagree.  And, we choose what hills we are willing to die on.  Not every argument matters.  

Question 3:
If you could go back and do it again, how might you love your spouse better?

Dad - “I would not work so much and spend more time with her."

Mom - “Lean more on God instead of self.”  

How this has played out in my 12 years of marriage? - I love these types of questions.  It is my hope that Jenn and I do our best everyday to love each other on purpose.  The last thing I hope is to one day look back and say, “I wish…”  May we learn from those who lived longer.  May we not repeat what they wish they could change.

Have a blessed day,
Pastor Matt